“What Did The... Say” Jokes

What did the denominator say to the numerator during the argument?

You're being completely irrational.

What did the zero say to the negative number?

You really need to stay positive.

What did the taxi say to the passenger who kept changing directions?

You're driving me crazy — and I'm the one with the meter.

What did the travel agent say to the volcano?

I lava good destination.

What did the tourist say when they saw the Grand Canyon?

Well, that's gorge-ous.

What did the Eiffel Tower say to the Statue of Liberty?

You look riveting from across the pond.

What did the passport say after a long vacation?

I'm totally stamped out.

What did the hotel pillow say to the guest?

Don't worry, I've got you covered.

What did the X-ray say to the broken leg?

I can see right through you.

What did the allergist say to the anxious patient?

Don't worry, I'll get to the root of your reaction.

What did the ophthalmologist say to the indecisive patient?

You really need to focus.

What did the patient say after the successful brain surgery?

Thanks, doc — I've had a real change of mind.

What did the surgeon say before removing the patient's funny bone?

This might not be very humerus.

What did the blood cell say when it got lost?

I think I took the wrong artery — now I'm all veined up.

What did the stethoscope say on Valentine's Day?

I only have ears for you.