“What Did The... Say” Jokes

What did the deadline say to the procrastinator?

We need to stop meeting like this — always at the last minute.

What did the manager say about the new open floor plan?

There are no barriers to communication — or privacy.

What did the CEO say when the elevator broke?

I guess we'll have to take steps to fix this.

What did the out-of-office reply say?

I'm not here right now, but your email is very important to no one.

What did the project manager say to the Gantt chart?

I think we need to bar some of these tasks from the schedule.

What did the resume say to the job posting?

I think we're a perfect match — on paper, at least.

What did the stapler say to the paper?

Let's stick together through this project.

What did the email say to the spam folder?

I can't believe you filtered me out of your life.

What did the boss say when the calendar app crashed?

Looks like we have an opening.

What did the scientist say when their hypothesis was wrong?

Well, that was an over-reaction.

What did the biologist say to their failing experiment?

I think we need a control group hug.

What did the lab notebook say to the scientist?

You can always count on me — I've got your data.

What did the mass spectrometer say to the molecule?

I'll break you down and figure out what you're made of.

What did the volcano say to its partner?

I lava you so much.

What did the DNA say to the other DNA?

Do these genes make me look fat?