“What Did The... Say” Jokes

What did the duck say when it bought lipstick?

Put it on my bill.

What did the investor say to the stock market?

I find you very volatile — but I can't quit you!

What did the quarter say to the penny?

You don't make any cents!

What did the shark say when it ate a clownfish?

That tasted a little funny!

What did the astronaut say after crashing into the moon?

I Apollo-gize!

What did the screw say to the drill?

You really drive me in circles!

What did the big flower say to the little flower?

Hey there, bud!

What did the spider do on the computer?

Made a website.

What did the dentist say to the computer?

This won't hurt a byte!

What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing their own incision?

Suture self!

What did the violin say when it finally got tuned?

Things are finally looking sharp.

What did the mama buffalo say when her boy left for college?

Bison!

What did the manager say about the team-building exercise?

It really brought everyone to the table — mostly because there was free pizza.

What did the budget say to the department head?

I'm really stretched thin this quarter.

What did the excited electron shout?

I'm so pumped — I just jumped to a higher level!