“What Did The... Say” Jokes

What did the sweet potato say at Thanksgiving dinner?

I yam what I yam!

What did the Easter egg painter say to his client?

I'm dyeing to show you my work!

What did the Easter egg say when it got decorated?

I'm dye-lighted!

What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium?

HeHe.

What did the biologist wear on their first date?

Designer genes.

What did the dentist say to the golfer?

You have a hole in one.

What did the surgeon say to the patient who complained about their stitches?

Suture self.

What did the calculator say to the stressed student?

You can count on me.

What did the ocean say to the cruise ship?

Nothing, it just waved.

What did the nail say to the hammer?

You really hit the nail on the head with that one.

What did the Roman emperor say when his wife asked him to help with dinner?

I'll Caesar salad.

What did the judge say to the counterfeit bill?

You're guilty of being two-faced.

What did the dollar say to the four quarters?

You've changed.

What did the flower say after it told a joke?

I was just pollen your leg!

What did the cookbook say to the amateur chef?

Just follow my lead — I've got all the right ingredients for success.