What did the zero say to the negative number?
You really need to stay positive.
1
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What did the calculator say to the math student?
You can count on me!
3
Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they arrr!
4
What do you call a destroyed math textbook?
Aftermath!
5
Why was the statistician a great gardener?
He really understood plots.
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What do you get when you cross a math teacher and a clock?
Arithma-tick!
7
Why should you never argue with a 90-degree angle?
Because it's always right!
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Why did the polynomial break up with the monomial?
She found him too simple — she needed more terms.
9
What's a butterfly's favorite subject in school?
Moth-ematics!
10
What do you call a number that follows you everywhere?
A stalker-ithm!
11
Why do mathematicians love parks?
Because of all the natural logs!
12
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
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What did the triangle say to the circle?
You're pointless!
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What did the acute angle say to the obtuse angle at the prom?
You look a-cute tonight… wait, that's my line.
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Why did the math book look so sad?
Because it had so many problems.
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Why is the obtuse angle always so frustrated?
Because it's never right!
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Why did the two 4s skip lunch?
Because they already 8!
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Why did the student do multiplication on the floor?
The teacher told them not to use tables!
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Why do valley girls hang out in odd numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
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Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on tangents!