What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in dirt, and crosses back?
A dirty double-crosser.
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25 Best Animal Dad Jokes
The funniest animal puns and one-liners in the deck.
Browse all animals jokes »
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2
Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?
It was udder destruction.
3
Why did the man run around his bed?
Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!
4
I accidentally took my cats meds last night.
Don’t ask meow.
5
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
6
What do you call an ant that skips school?
A truant.
7
What did the owl say to its Valentine?
Owl always love you!
8
Why did the chicken join a gym?
To work on its pecks.
9
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
10
What do you call a cow that can't produce milk?
An udder failure.
11
What did the snail give on Valentine's Day?
A slow-mance!
12
What do you call a dog that's been out in the cold?
A pupsicle.
13
What do you call a crow sitting on a telephone wire?
A long-distance caw.
14
What do you call a bear caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
15
What did the dog say to the two trees?
Bark bark.
16
Why did the horse chew with its mouth open?
Because it had bad stable manners.
17
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
18
Why did the feline fail the lie detector test?
Because he be lion.
19
Why did the sheep get detention?
It was always baaad in class.
20
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
21
What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A neigh-bor.
22
What do you call a sleeping lizard?
A calm-eleon.
23
What happened when the Easter Bunny met his true love?
They lived hoppily ever after!
24
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
25
What happens when you cross a sheep with a kangaroo ?
A woolly jumper!