Corny Dad Jokes

Why did the beekeeper get promoted?

Because he always created a buzz at work.

What do you call a snowman with abs?

An abdominal snowman.

Why did the envelope go to therapy?

It felt too much pressure to keep things sealed.

What do you call a shoe that tells lies?

A sneaker.

Why did the lamp get invited to every party?

Because it always brightened the mood.

What do you call a penguin who steals things?

A hardened criminal — he's already doing hard time on ice.

Why did the optometrist fail his exam?

He couldn't see the point.

What do you call a detective who solves crimes at the bakery?

An under-cover roll.

Why did the nail feel so important?

Because everyone kept hitting on it.

What do you call a guitar that gets everything wrong?

Out of tune with reality.

Why did the calendar break up with the clock?

Their days were numbered.

What do you call a rabbit who tells jokes?

A funny bunny.

Why did the stadium whisper?

Because it didn't want to make a scene.

Why did the roof always win arguments?

It always had the situation covered!

What do you call a plumber who sings while he works?

A pipe-r!