“What Did The... Say” Jokes

What did the ocean say to the cruise ship?

Nothing, it just waved.

What did the nail say to the hammer?

You really hit the nail on the head with that one.

What did the Roman emperor say when his wife asked him to help with dinner?

I'll Caesar salad.

What did the judge say to the counterfeit bill?

You're guilty of being two-faced.

What did the cookbook say to the amateur chef?

Just follow my lead — I've got all the right ingredients for success.

What did the pot say to the boiling water?

You're really starting to steam me up.

What did the spatula say to the pancake?

I'm flipping out over you!

What did the flour say during the job interview?

I rise to every occasion.

What did the canoe say to the kayak?

We're both in the same boat here.

What did the flashlight say when it ran out of batteries?

I'm completely de-lighted.

What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in a snowbank?

Shiver me timbers!

What did the mug say to the kettle after an argument?

That's the pot calling the kettle hot!

What did the barista say when the latte complained?

You need to espresso your feelings better.

What did the espresso say to the french press?

You're so full of pressure!

What did the suspenders say to the belt?

You hold things together from below, but I've got the higher ground.