Hey, dad, did you get a haircut?
No, I got them all cut.
← All collections
20 Best Doctor & Medical Dad Jokes
Prescribing laughter, one pun at a time.
Browse all medical jokes »
1
2
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital dance alone?
He had no body to go with.
3
What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing their own incision?
Suture self!
4
Have you heard about corduroy pillows?
They're making headlines!
5
Why did the pillow go to the doctor?
It was feeling stuffed up!
6
Why did the anesthesiologist get promoted?
He always put everyone at ease.
7
Why doesn't the Chimney-Sweep call out sick from work?
Because he's used to working with a flue.
8
Why did the doctor carry a red pen?
In case they needed to draw blood!
9
Why did the nurse bring a ladder to work?
Because they heard the patients were on a higher floor of recovery!
10
Wife: Honey I’m pregnant. Me: Well…. what do we do now?
Wife: Well, I guess we should go to a baby doctor. Me: Hm.. I think I’d be a lot more comfortable going to an adult doctor.
11
What do you call a doctor who's always on the move?
A running nose specialist!
12
What did the allergist say to the anxious patient?
Don't worry, I'll get to the root of your reaction.
13
How does a French skeleton say hello?
Bone-jour.
14
What did the dentist say to the computer?
This won't hurt a byte!
15
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject.
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
16
Doctor: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?
Patient: Good news please. Doctor: we're naming a disease after you.
17
Why do nurses like red crayons?
Sometimes they have to draw blood.
18
What did the blood cell say when it got lost?
I think I took the wrong artery — now I'm all veined up.
19
What did the doctor say to the gingerbread man who broke his leg?
Try icing it.
20
What did the X-ray say to the broken leg?
I can see right through you.