Why did the anesthesiologist get promoted?
He always put everyone at ease.
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20 Best Doctor & Medical Dad Jokes
Prescribing laughter, one pun at a time.
Browse all medical jokes »
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2
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital dance alone?
He had no body to go with.
3
Hey, dad, did you get a haircut?
No, I got them all cut.
4
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject.
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
5
Why doesn't the Chimney-Sweep call out sick from work?
Because he's used to working with a flue.
6
What do you call a doctor who's always on the move?
A running nose specialist!
7
Have you heard about corduroy pillows?
They're making headlines!
8
What did the dentist say to the computer?
This won't hurt a byte!
9
What type of music do chiropractors listen to?
Hip pop!
10
How does a French skeleton say hello?
Bone-jour.
11
Why did the doctor carry a red pen?
In case they needed to draw blood!
12
What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing their own incision?
Suture self!
13
What did the dentist say to the golfer?
You have a hole in one.
14
Why did the pillow go to the doctor?
It was feeling stuffed up!
15
What did the allergist say to the anxious patient?
Don't worry, I'll get to the root of your reaction.
16
Why did the dalmatian go to the eye doctor?
Because it kept seeing spots!
17
Why do nurses like red crayons?
Sometimes they have to draw blood.
18
Wife: Honey I’m pregnant. Me: Well…. what do we do now?
Wife: Well, I guess we should go to a baby doctor. Me: Hm.. I think I’d be a lot more comfortable going to an adult doctor.
19
Want to hear my pizza joke?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
20
Why did the nurse bring a ladder to work?
Because they heard the patients were on a higher floor of recovery!