Why did the skeleton go to the hospital dance alone?
He had no body to go with.
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20 Best Doctor & Medical Dad Jokes
Prescribing laughter, one pun at a time.
Browse all medical jokes »
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Why did the anesthesiologist get promoted?
He always put everyone at ease.
3
Hey, dad, did you get a haircut?
No, I got them all cut.
4
What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing their own incision?
Suture self!
5
Why did the pillow go to the doctor?
It was feeling stuffed up!
6
What did the allergist say to the anxious patient?
Don't worry, I'll get to the root of your reaction.
7
Why doesn't the Chimney-Sweep call out sick from work?
Because he's used to working with a flue.
8
Why do nurses like red crayons?
Sometimes they have to draw blood.
9
Have you heard about corduroy pillows?
They're making headlines!
10
What did the doctor say to the gingerbread man who broke his leg?
Try icing it.
11
What do you call a doctor who's always on the move?
A running nose specialist!
12
Why did the germ cross the microscope?
To get to the other slide!
13
Why did the doctor carry a red pen?
In case they needed to draw blood!
14
How does a French skeleton say hello?
Bone-jour.
15
Wife: Honey I’m pregnant. Me: Well…. what do we do now?
Wife: Well, I guess we should go to a baby doctor. Me: Hm.. I think I’d be a lot more comfortable going to an adult doctor.
16
What did the dentist say to the computer?
This won't hurt a byte!
17
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject.
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
18
Doctor: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?
Patient: Good news please. Doctor: we're naming a disease after you.
19
Why did the nurse bring a ladder to work?
Because they heard the patients were on a higher floor of recovery!
20
What did the X-ray say to the broken leg?
I can see right through you.