Animals Dad Jokes

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!

Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?

Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are. Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk?

The stock market.

Where do young cows eat lunch?

In the calf-ateria.

Why do wizards clean their teeth three times a day?

To prevent bat breath!

Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was udder destruction.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school?

Bison.

Did you know that protons have mass?

I didn't even know they were catholic.

How does a penguin build it’s house?

Igloos it together.

How do you get two whales in a car?

Start in England and drive West.