Math Dad Jokes

Why should you never trust a pig with a secret?

Because it's bound to squeal.

Why do valley girls hang out in odd numbered groups?

Because they can't even.

What do you get when you cross a pig and a pineapple?

A porky pine.

I went to the store to pick up eight cans of sprite...

When I got home I realized I'd only picked seven up.

What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?

They will give you a piece of your mind.

What did the calculator say to the student?

You can count on me.

Why do mathematicians hate the U.S.?

Because it's indivisible.

How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth?

He ate the pizza before it was cool.

How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Oh, it's a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it.

Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they arrr!