Puns Dad Jokes

How does Moses make his coffee?

Hebrews it.

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing.

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

He couldn't see himself doing it.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea.

What do you call a belt made of watches?

A waist of time.

Why did the clown have neck pain?

Because he slept funny.

A termite walks into a bar and asks...

Is the bar tender here?

How does Darth Vader like his toast?

On the dark side.

A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke. Thank you”. “Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?

The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them.”

How many bones are in the human hand?

A handful of them.