Puns Dad Jokes

I started a new business making yachts in my attic this year...

The sails are going through the roof.

If you see a robbery at an Apple Store...

Does that make you an iWitness?

Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?

Lack of concentration.

What do you call a fly without wings?

A walk.

Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged.

What’s E.T. short for?

He’s only got little legs.

I can't tell if i like this blender...

It keeps giving me mixed results.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

The p is silent.

Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?

The food is great, but there’s just no atmosphere.

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.