Puns Dad Jokes

What did the duck say when it bought lipstick?

Put it on my bill.

What do you call a dinosaur that crashes their car?

Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.

Why did the tailor get fired from the restaurant?

He kept pressing his own suit.

Why did the geometry teacher miss class?

She sprained her angle.

Why did the cell phone go to the dentist?

It had a Bluetooth problem.

Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.

What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum?

A chew-chew train.

Why did the broom get a promotion?

It swept the competition.

Why did the smartphone need glasses?

It lost all its contacts.

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?

I'm stuck on you.