One-liners Dad Jokes

I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.

It's called Feefiphobia.

I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork.

I think I nailed it.

My friend says I'm too condescending.

That means I talk down to people.

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

I'll let you know which comes first.

I'm no good at math, but I know that 5 out of 4 people struggle with fractions.

Including me, apparently.

A cheese factory exploded in France.

Da brie was everywhere.

I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift.

But I couldn't find the manual.

My wife asked me to go get 6 cans of Sprite from the store.

I brought 7 Up.

I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went.

Then it dawned on me.

Someone stole my mood ring yesterday.

I'm not sure how I feel about it.