Medical jokes

What do you call a pig with three eyes?

Piiig

When do doctors get angry?

When they run out of patients.

What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?

They will give you a piece of your mind.

How can you tell a vampire has a cold?

They start coffin.

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject.

Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.

Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?

Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are. Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.

Why do nurses carry around red crayons?

Sometimes they need to draw blood.

Why do wizards clean their teeth three times a day?

To prevent bat breath!

What time did the man go to the dentist?

Tooth hurt-y.