Money jokes

Why did the ATM go on a diet?

It wanted to stop dispensing so much cash.

What do you call a debt that's always cracking jokes?

A laughing stock.

Why did the hedge fund manager bring shears to work?

He wanted to trim the hedges.

What did one check say to the other at the dance?

Let's bounce!

Why don't savings accounts ever throw parties?

They can't stop being so reserved.

What did the loan officer say at the comedy club?

I'm here all week — with interest!

Why did the tax return go to the therapist?

It had too many deductions to process.

What do you call a banker who's also a gardener?

Someone who likes watching their savings grow.