Money jokes

Why was the nickel always the center of attention?

Because it always made cents.

What do you call a dollar bill in a blender?

Liquid assets.

Why did the mortgage feel so possessive?

Because it was always holding interest.

What do you call a penny that tells tall tales?

A cent-sational storyteller.

Why did the accountant break up with the spreadsheet?

Because it had too many issues and no balance.

What did the wallet say after Thanksgiving?

I'm stuffed!

Why don't bills ever feel lonely?

Because they always come in stacks!

What do you call a dinosaur that's good with money?

A budget-saurus — very thrifty with its nest egg!