Puns jokes

Why don't calendars ever get stressed?

Because they always take things one day at a time.

How does Moses make his coffee?

Hebrews it.

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing.

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

He couldn't see himself doing it.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea.

What do you call a belt made of watches?

A waist of time.

Why did the bicycle fall over?

Because it was two-tired.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. “Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?

” The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”