Medical jokes

What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?

A URL-ologist!

What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing their own incision?

Suture self!

Why did the doctor carry a red pen?

In case they needed to draw blood!

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Because it was feeling crummy.

What do dentists call their x-rays?

Tooth pics.

Why do nurses like red crayons?

Sometimes they have to draw blood.

"Hey, dad, did you get a haircut?

" "No, I got them all cut."

Have you heard about corduroy pillows?

They're making headlines!

Doctor: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?

Patient: Good news please. Doctor: we're naming a disease after you.