Family jokes

What do you call a grandpa who can rap?

A grand-master!

Why did the uncle keep telling everyone he was a pillow?

He was just really into soft-ware!

Why did the mom measure her son before bedtime?

She wanted to see how long he could sleep!

Why did the dad sit on the newspaper?

He wanted to be on top of current events!

What do you call a brother who always falls asleep at family dinner?

A napkin!

Why did the teenager keep his report card in the freezer?

Because he wanted to get his grades higher — starting from zero degrees!

Why did the family bring a pencil to game night?

In case they needed to draw!

What do you call a kid who won't stop asking questions?

An inter-a-gator!