Puns jokes

When people are sad, I sometimes let them colour in my tattoos.

Sometimes all they need is a shoulder to crayon.

What do you do when your bunny gets wet?

You get your hare dryer.

I wish I could clean mirrors for a living.

It's just something I can see myself doing.

Can February march?

No, but April may.

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?

"Pop," goes the weasel.

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

I used to work for a soft drink can crusher.

It was soda pressing.

What's the difference between a rooster and a crow?

A rooster can crow but a crow cannot rooster.

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.

Why do wizards clean their teeth three times a day?

To prevent bat breath!